Accepting Not Knowing

Thanks to Mike for leading DPX this past Sunday with a meditation using the words , calm, soothe, settle to focus on. It was simple and powerful for our group. Then he presented a reading from Pema Chodron. Members of our group talked about other helpful Zoom groups they are attending such as Bill and Susan’s daily meditation through Barre Center for Contemplative Studies https://www.buddhistinquiry.org/online-programs/  and Kathy Cherry’s DPX-NYC morning meditation group https://www.dharmapunxnyc.com/#home-section.

I our group discussion some people talked about injustice in light of the killing by police of George Flyod. Saying “things in the world are so unsettling and it’s important to take action. The pandemic may be impacting people becoming more aware and their ability to act. We struggle with the part we cannot change.”  We recognize that there are a lot of micro movements we can join within the bigger movement to change our broken society. As white people, we acknowledge that we, we have bias. Reading and listening can help. With meditation and mindfulness we realize, “here is where I am, and here is where I can make a difference. This is not a sprint. It’s an ongoing struggle and you need to take care of yourself so you can effectively do the work.” 

Others talked on a more personal level about their recovery and feeling an unformed sense of self. Commenting that “what people call recovery, I call life”, and that “things are always getting better and worse at the same time. That’s why it’s important to remember impermanence.”  Thanks to Mike for sharing with us Pema Chodron’s quote in her book When Things Fall Apart, which sums it up beautifully:

 "Things falling apart is a kind of testing and also a kind of healing. We think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don't really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It's just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.

When we think that something is going to bring us pleasure, we don't know what's really going to happen. When we think something is going to give us misery, we don't know. Letting there be room for not knowing is the most important thing of all. We try to do what we think is going to help. But we don't know. We never know if we're going to fall flat or sit up tall. When there's a big disappointment, we don't know if that's the end of the story. It may be just the beginning of a great adventure”. 

I Can't Breathe

Melissa led DPX last Sunday with a Metta meditation and our group discussed the horrific killing of George Floyd and the following Black Lives Matter/social justice protests and rallies. The Metta meditation inspired by Jon Kabot Zin included this quote “specifically include in the field of loving-kindness those less fortunate than yourself who are exploited at work or at home. All those who are imprisoned justly or unjustly. All those who are at the mercy of their enemies. All those who are hospitalized or sick or dying. All those who are caught up in chaos, who are living in fear, who are suffering in any way shape or form. Whatever brought them to this point in their lives, just as we do, they all want to experience ease of well-being rather than dis-ease and fragmentation, just as we do. They all want to be happy and contented. They all desire to be whole and healthy. They all desire to be safe and free from harm.”

In our discussion Melissa quoted from Lama Rod Owens book Radical Dharma reading “If you don’t know that life is suffering, you cannot know liberation. With true liberation one doesn’t feel the need to control things, because you are free. That liberation gives rise to knowing that others need to be free of suffering also.” We understand the trauma black communities experience is a result of racism over centuries. We need to bring it to the surface, articulate it and hold the pain. We practice Metta to extend loving kindness out into the world.

In group discussion we talked about the police killing of George Floyd which has exposed the bigger collective suffering caused by systemic racism, poverty and ignorance. Marco commented, “We are always on the precipice, ready to fall apart. With 50% of the GDP going to war, one wonders what will be fixed. This is a universal problem. In many countries the division is motivated by religion, not race as it is in this country. It’s nothing new, we just experience it collectively now because cell phones are reveling it.” Ray talked about working locally to help the black community with displacement due to real estate gentrification. Mike stated that the Dharma teaches us about our essential goodness and the 3 poisons, hate, ignorance and greed. Meditation helps to be able to sit with the suffering and not turn away from it. If it is not exposed we cannot fix it. Brendan stated that “We can fix the overall system but it’s fundamentally the individual’s responsibility not the governments job to fix it. We need to look at our own capacity for hate and greed and meet it with kindness and soften the heart. We need to get off the see-saw of blame and unskilled behavior. That is the most fundamental thing we can do.”

Push back came from Melissa who stated “Personal responsibility lets us all off the hook. There are real policies that contributed to this. Look at Stop and Frisk. There are many of the social systems that could be changed which would help, such as community policing to engender trust, racial sensitivity training, police accountability, conflict resolution and police training in de-escalation tactics.” Systemic racism needs systemic change. As usual, the answer is all of the above, and more.